My heart said there must be more purpose for my life than this. But I just kept driving in the same direction. Then . . .
God came to my house and asked for charity. And I fell on my knees and cried, “Beloved,
What may I give”
“Just love,” He said.
St. Francis of Assisi
I learned a lot about how to love. And then, God created a quiet space. Work and previous commitments cleared away so I could hear God’s call to be re-formed. “Spend time discovering the woman I created you to be,” God said.
For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Jeremiah 29:11 (NRSV)
At the end of six months, I felt the call to re-form my theology and learn new and “practical” ways to show love to my neighbor. God was calling me to Columbia Theological Seminary to study the Practical Theology of Pastoral Care. God was calling me to get to know my neighbor and myself, to move out of what I knew and experience a new way of living.
So, I started down a new road, living in the uncertainty of its destination and yielding myself daily to the reformation. I’ve been deconstructing my beliefs and re-imagining abundant life in Christ.
I’ve grown in compassion for myself and others and the ability to see God’s creative force at work in the world. My understanding of God continues to expand and yet still seems so limited. I find myself asking, “What’s next?” Only the next turn in the road appeared. I am to continue learning and discovering. What will studying Ethics and Theology teach me? How can this be used for good, for change in this world? I cannot see where this road leads.
Wonderful Shepherd, God of All that Is,
Thank you for leading me in the way of openness and learning.
Continue the flow of love and compassion in and through me so that
I may rest in your grace each moment and see the beauty of your creation.
Show me the paths where I can take action on behalf of women, children and families who are marginalized by society.
Just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family,
you did it to me. Matthew 25:40 (NRSV)